Needs, Expectations, Preconceptions

Needs,  Expectations, Preconceptions

We often go into situations with an unconscious agenda, that may help, or hinder us.  When we meet, interact, and connect with other people, what are we carrying with us that may effect the outcome?  Like an actor excavating a character’s motivations…we too  may benefit from taking a look at what we are bringing to the table.

Having recently moved to a new local, after decades in another, I find myself in the exciting, unsettling, stimulating and unnerving position of meeting new people for work and play, in business and friendship, absorbing information, directions, feedback and attitudes, in a place where the style, mores, frame of reference, and even the food, are different then what I am used to in ways both drastic and subtle.

Resisting the temptation to howl in the wind…I tuned in, and became aware of attitudinal dangers and pitfalls.  Braving  the entwined dragons of fear and self-consciousness over and over again,

I began to get a handle on what we carry in our


and how it could be affected by our


I saw that it was easy, especially in a new and challenging situation, to come to an interaction with a sense of need, whether conscious or not…a sense of wanting reassurance, validation, support, or affirmation..or guidance, information, direction or referrals.  There is nothing wrong with having needs or wishes.  It is how we are made.   We WANT …and we NEED…

However, “wishing doesn’t make it so….”. If we come in with expectations, we are bound to be disappointed.  Having expectations of others may cast a long shadow on our interactions with them.

The answer is not to wear a mask, or hide our light under a bushel….or muffle who we are.

We just need to know that other folks are dealing with their own kettle of fish.  We  have no idea where they are coming from, what they have experienced, or what they, themselves are wanting, or needing, or even expecting from others, from the world, from us.   It  makes

who we are, we are all informed by our own past, our own family, our own hereditary. We are the products of our culture, our era, our genetics.


Even if we think we have a handle on our needs, and have let go of our expectations, we may still discover that we have preconceptions of others, that might bring us confusion, get us into trouble, or lead to let down, hurt or outrage.  We may find ourselves reacting to people based on their appearance, the sound of their voice, their profession, family background or public persona, We may find ourselves drawing conclusions we don’t even know we are drawing, and then having to erase them.

I have found that as I meet,  interact and connect with people,  it is helpful to try to be aware of the needs that I carry, the expectations I bring, and the preconceptions I observe myself having, most often based on insufficient data.  Increased awareness creates increased consciousness and self-empowerment, and thus greater self-responsibility, empathy and kindness.  When we are, as the French say, “bien dans la peau”   (“Well within our skin”- IE, Comfortable within ourselves)

We cam be  better to and for others, for the world- for ourselves.

The transformation of raindrops into rainbow…

is what I  hope to deepen and sustain….as I spread myself through this thing called Life, and attempt to span the sky.

What about YOU?

The Embodiment of Color

The Embodiment of Color

When recently discussing Frank Mahnke‘s “schemata, the “Color Experience” Pyramid, I found myself sliding uncomfortably, yet seamlessly, from one “level” of the Pyramid to the other.

I say  uncomfortably, because I felt that some of the levels were so interconnected, as to be nearly inter-changeable. The Pyramid describes six levels upon which we experience the phenomenon of color.  I  decided to take a closer look at each, starting with its base: “biological reactions to a color stimulus“, IE: our own biology.

Our sensations are generated, and thus emanate, from our senses, our five senses, to be exact, which are experienced through our own bodies.  You might say it’s a physical thing.  We must then, embody color,  just as we experience it.  If color is light is energy, I reasoned, in a sense, in a very real sense, we must be made of it.  If we are made of energy, made of light, we must be made of color.  Are we then walking, talking rainbows? Flowers? Sunsets?

We cannot control our biological reactions to color, as they show,  in the words of English psychologist Nicholas Humphry, “….traces of our evolutionary heritage.”  From the green pigment of chlorophyll and its role in the necessary process of photosynthesis, to the huge red pouches developed by the male frigate bird during mating season,  in nature, and thus in  ourselves, color is and always has been a signal between life forms and species that is crucial to our survival. Camouflage, protection, sustenance, warning, sexuality, fertility, all of these and more are signified and communicated through color, which underneath it all still seem to be running us today, both psychologically and biologically.

A neural pathway, aptly called the “energetic portion” of the optic pathway transports light and color stimulation to the master glands which control the production and release of hormones. Whoa!  Talk about the Mother lode!  We see that color affects our biology, and biological activity, whether we wish it, will it, want it, or not. Blue light, for example, has been used to cure infant jaundice.

Humans have “total color vision“, meaning that we need the total color spectrum for our biological and psychological survival.
Color has always been a significant factor in our evolution and survival as humans, teaching us what is safe and nutritious to eat,  how to interpret and adapt to our natural environment, and how to understand and respond to the changing seasons, as our earth rotates around the sun.

Here we come full circle, a full rotation  if you will.  Light is color, and from the energy of light we see, sense, and  take what is needed for our survival, preservation and protection as a species.   On this most basic level, the level of our biology, our response to color has nothing to do with what we might term as preference.  Our perception of  the light-giving radiant energy of the sun, which is color, is fundamentally linked to our survival, and thus deeper than any conscious experience, control, effort or emotion could dictate.

Are YOU conscious of experiencing color on a biological level?? How does color support YOUR survival?

If you are so moved, please share your experience with us here.  We love to hear from You.

Remember, we are all experiencing this colorFULL thing called Life, together.